Finding the Crack
by Skate-815
Summary: A missing scene from Northwest Passage, set around the middle of the episode. Peter and Mathis talk about Ferguson, and what/who Peter left behind in Boston. Most definately Peter/Olivia with mentions of Mathis/Ferguson. One shot.


**I always felt that this was a conversation that a lot of fans would have liked to have seen on the show. It's only now that I actually tried to write it/find a relevant place to put it in the episode that I understand why they didn't have this happen.**

**Anyway, it's a bit pointless, but it's something that's been in the back of my mind, on and off, since the episode aired.**

**It's set after the scene where Peter convinces Mathis not to call the FBI, and before their confrontation on the bridge. **

Peter glanced up as he heard a door open and nodded awkwardly to the cop that entered through it. He'd seen him around the station and town before, but he'd avoided talking to the other officers as much as possible out of sheer habit. And now, it was beginning to seem like the less people that knew _anything_ about him, the better. He glanced in Mathis' direction, noting how she'd instantly turned her back on her colleague in an attempt to hide her anguish from him. In a somewhat protective gesture, he subtly stepped between them, blocking her from the man's line of sight.

"Come on" Peter kept his tone low to avoid any attention, "Let's go for a drive." When he'd first met Olivia, she'd been a little like the way Mathis was now- on edge, desperate and liable to have a breakdown if she didn't at least take a moment to digest what had happened. For half a second she didn't move, before she quickly looked up at him

"Good idea. I know where he was heading, so maybe we could trace the route?" her tone was steely, and as he glanced down into her eyes, and saw that they no longer held the panic from before.

"Sounds like a plan." Peter agreed, snatching up his jacket as she walked swiftly through the door.

* * *

They got as far as the outskirts of town before Mathis swung the car off the road to rest at the verge of a forest. Peter silently glanced her way, noting her white knuckles and unsteady breathing. He had been expecting this since they'd left the station, but it was still unnerving to see a woman as strong as the Sherriff so close to breaking down.

"Hey," he mumbled in his most soothing tone, "Hey, it's going to be okay, you know"

"Is it?" She managed to choke out, her already pale face now looking ghostly white with an added tinge of green on her cheeks, "Because I've never seen anything like this... Never had to deal with anything like this, and now Ferguson's..." She broke off, turning away to stare out the window, releasing her hold on the wheel just long enough to brush away her tears.

"I know" he nodded, feeling a little ill himself. If his suspicions were correct, and Newton had indeed followed him here, then all of these deaths were on him. If this woman's lover were to die, it would his fault, "But we'll solve this. You and I will catch the son of a bitch responsible, and then we'll get Ferguson back."

"If he's not dead already." She added what he had been unwilling to voice.

"He won't be" he said confidently, although he knew the last thing he should be doing was making promises like that. She shook her head, choking hard on a sob and Peter half raised a hand to comfort her, but hesitated, unsure if he'd be crossing a line if he were to touch her.

It would be easy with Walter- a reassuring hand on his back, and a promise of fetching his latest culinary demand usually did the trick of calming him. Olivia was different. She claimed to be uncomfortable with too much contact, and so when he did reach for her when it all became too much, the simplest of touches seemed to slow her breathing... And why was it that the Fringe Division kept popping into his head on today of all days, when he really should focus on the here and now?

He slowly, awkwardly, rested his hand on her shoulder, feeling somewhat satisfied when she didn't jerk away. He sat silently with her while her breathing returned to normal and the tears ceased to fall. Twisting the mirror, Mathis surveyed herself, and let out a bark-like laugh.

"I'm a complete mess right now, aren't I?"

"You look fine" he answered, letting his hand fall away into the space between them, a sincere smile gracing his features.

"I'm not used to this" she admitted, "There hasn't been a murder here in years, never mind a serial killer." He nodded, hoping to convey a certain understanding and she turned to him slowly, a strange look in her eyes.

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?" He asked, frowning a little.

"Cope with all of this? I mean you're FBI, in a way. You must deal with the likes of this all the time." Peter frowned a little as he heard her words. She was right, the job did take its toll on him from time to time, but he'd never really voiced anything of the sort before. Olivia always made coping with everything seem so easy, and it had just felt easier to try to pretend that the cases barely fazed him. However, right now it felt that if anyone deserved an honest answer, it was Mathis.

"You distance yourself from it," he admitted, "which I know will be damned near impossible in this case, now that your... Now that Ferguson's been taken, but that's what I have to do." He paused, wondering whether or not to continue, before deciding that it didn't really matter either way, "And of course, you _find the crack_."

There was a moment of silence in which Mathis just simply looked up at him, her eyes bright, intrigued and mercifully no longer brimming with tears.

"What's yours?" She finally asked.

"Family." he answered without hesitation, "Or at least it was."

"So where's this family now?" The question shouldn't have caught him off guard- he'd known that eventually an enquiry of this sort would come his way, but he found that he had to give himself a moment to think of a suitable response.

"Probably right where I left them." He spoke in a nonchalant tone, before he caught the glare she was sending his way, and clarified, "Boston."

"Then I suppose the real question is what are you doing here?" Peter casually turned his head and looked at nothing through the window. Mathis had transitioned effortlessly into investigator mode, and he sensed now that to make eye contact would be a deathly mistake.

"I already told you, I'm just passing through" he cleared his throat, "We should probably get moving again." In response, she started up the vehicle, but as he'd expected, her interrogation didn't let up.

"On route to where?" she asked, but before Peter could respond, she interjected, "And if you say you haven't decided yet, I swear I'll…"

"I haven't decided yet" Peter repeated, mostly to be difficult, but it was also the truth. Mathis let out a frustrated noise, but kept her eyes securely on the road ahead.

"You know, you're the shiftiest person in town right now Peter. You arrive in town and people begin to die, you have details about their murders that no one but the killer should know and now you're walking around with a gun strapped to your chest." She eventually spoke in a low, moderated tone, "If Colonel Phillip Broyles from the FBI hadn't vouched for you himself, you'd be my prime suspect by now."

"You know I didn't kill these people," Peter countered, "You wouldn't have travelled out here, alone, to the middle of nowhere with me if you didn't know I wasn't the murderer." He openly gazed at her, hoping to make eye contact. She _had_ to trust him, one hundred percent, or chances were neither of them would live to the end of the day.

"Maybe it's just taken me this long to realise how little I really know about you." She shot back, but her breathing was steady and her demeanour calm. Although Peter knew that she wasn't actually afraid of him, he was beginning to think that maybe it couldn't hurt to reveal a little part of his past in Boston. Just to gain a little more of her trust.

"What do you want to know?" he gave a defeated sigh and leant back in his seat. From the look she gave him, it was clear she hadn't expected him to give in this easily, but she was obviously eager to make the most of this situation.

"Okay" the confusion quickly melted into a look of concentration, and the look she gave him reminded him very much of someone who was trying to solve a very intricate puzzle, "Something tells me you're not the gambling type…" she began, "So it's not debt you're running from."

"I used to owe money to a guy named Big Eddie" he supplied, slightly amused by her assumption "But you're right, that's not an issue any more."

"And I know you're not running from the law" she continued to speak in a slow, analytical tone, "I'm going to take a wild guess here and say this is all about a girl… So what's her name?" Although Mathis was staring straight ahead, Peter knew she was looking at him from the corner of her eye, hoping to gauge his reaction, and so he kept still, looking blankly out of the window in front of him. Although he intended to give nothing away, it annoyed him, really, that she would so easily assume that all of his problems revolved around one woman. If only it was that easy.

"There's no girl" Peter spoke in a tone that was perhaps a bit rough, but the wounds inflicted by Olivia's betrayal were still a little too raw for his tastes.

"Well judging from your attempt at a dalliance with Krista, I'm going to take an educated guess and say there's no guy either" Mathis' wry look caused a genuine grin to break out on his face- and really, smiles like that had been few and far between since he'd walked out of hospital.

"No, there's no guy." He tapped the fingers of his right hand against the armrest on the door, wondering where exactly they were going, and why it was taking so long to get there. Casting a sideways glance in her direction, he recalled how she had opened up to him, and decided there would be no harm in divulging a little.

"Her name's Olivia." The words slipped from his mouth before he'd given them due consideration, "But it's not what you think."

"Really?" Mathis took her eyes off the road just long enough to raise an eyebrow in his direction, "And what, exactly, do I think?"

"That I cheated on her… that she cheated on me." He sighed a little, slouching a little in the seat, "If you think I upped and left Boston because of a bad breakup, you're wrong."

"So why are you here?" It felt like she'd already asked that question in a million and one forms and he wanted to duck it like he had before out of sheer habit. However, he had the distinct feeling that Mathis wasn't the sort to let it go without a fight. She was a little too like Olivia in that respect.

"If I told it's all down to the world's biggest daddy issues, would you believe me?" He finally settled for a nice partial answer, accompanied by a self depreciating smirk. She gave him a non-committal shrug as a response

"And I suppose you don't want to talk about it?" she gave an exaggerated sigh.

"You'd be right."

"Okay, so tell me about this girlfriend of yours then" she prompted, and Peter bit back a snarky retort. He didn't want to talk about Olivia nearly as much as he didn't want to talk about Walter. Chances were if he were to _really_ think about either of the two people who had once meant the world to him, he might end up being the one crying in the front seat.

"She's not my girlfriend" he replied, "Never was."

"But you wanted her to be?" Mathis guessed, and although the standard denial very nearly crossed his lips, he realised that in a week's time, he would be in another town. After this case finished, one way or the other, he would probably never have to see this woman again. And really, it would be nice to finally say it aloud for a change.

"Yeah. Yeah, I really did." he hesitated for a moment, before adding, "Not that it mattered. When we first met, she was in the process of getting her heart broken by the man she quite possibly still classes as the love of her life, so I didn't pressure her. I did the right thing, and decided not to take advantage- to wait until she was ready to give another relationship a try. But that chivalrous move landed me in the friend zone, where I've resided ever since. Plus, she was my boss, and after her last inter-office relationship, I always got the feeling she'd decided office romances weren't worth the effort." he shot her a glance, "No offence."

"None taken" she shrugged, "Ferguson spent a long time convincing me he was worth it too. Have you talked to her since you arrived here?"

"Nope" he said with forced indifference.

"Why not?"

"Because I disappeared in the middle of the night without saying so much as a word to her. There's about a fifty percent chance that she'll hang up on me if I ever do get around to calling her." Although he believed everything he was saying was completely true, he knew he was lying by omission. But he so didn't have the time or the energy to explain the whole story right about now.

"Have you considered the other fifty percent? She might want to talk to you too, you know." Oh, of course he'd considered it. He'd spent a large proportion of those long, drawn out car journeys playing potential reunion scenes in his head after the initial anger had faded away.

"Because if Olivia and I actually have the conversation about why I left, chances are, she'll make me forgive her."

"And that's a bad thing?" Mathis asked, a little too incredulously for Peter's tastes

"It's a _very_ bad thing, because as soon as I decide to forgive her, she'll want me on a plane back to Boston, and she'll say all the right things, flirt with me _just enough_ so that I'll actually do it. And of course, once I'm home, she'll want me to forgive my father too, and right now I don't think I can do that. Even for her." He exhaled darkly, feeling every inch the petulant child, but he met her stare head on, refusing to feel guilty over this.

"This Olivia... Do you love her?" The question threw him. He'd been expecting questions about what she and Walter had done to deserve such a reaction, but nothing like this. He'd come to realise that he did indeed love her long ago, when he stood outside her hospital room and stared at her lifeless body through the glass. She was the only person that he'd ever met that made him feel like he didn't have to put up any walls, and if he did, he had the distinct feeling that it wouldn't make the slightest difference. She could see right through him, and had been able to from the very start, which was probably why she'd trusted him when Charlie, Broyles and yes, Agent Harris, had treated him with suitable caution. However it seemed like he had always spent a large proportion of his day keeping any such feelings on a tight reign, and he'd just admitted to liking her aloud a few minutes ago for the very first time. When he'd spent so long playing down his romantic intentions to Walter, it seemed wrong somehow to admit the full extent of them to a near-stranger.

"Well let's just say I have strong feelings." He finally replied. This conversation was quickly spiralling out of control. He hadn't meant to admit anywhere near this much and he was beginning to get the feeling that if Mathis wasn't such a damn good cop, she could have made it as a therapist,

"So did she know about these feelings? Strong or otherwise?"

"I didn't exactly profess my never ending love for her, if that's what you mean" he commented dryly, "But she knew."

"Are you sure?" She probed, "Sometimes..."

"I tried to kiss her" he interrupted bluntly, "And when that didn't work out, I took her on a date. Nothing too fancy- just to a bar so she wouldn't get spooked, and somehow that winded up being the most awkward night of my life. Then, she proceeded to pretty much ignore me for a few weeks until I asked her to forget what had happened, and just when things were back to normal, I found out she'd been lying to me on my father's behalf. That was when I decided I was better off without them both."

"Whatever it was..."

"It was bad. Let's just leave it at that." His tone held a warning, hoping she wouldn't press him any further.

* * *

As they reached a river, Mathis slowed the car, and swung it off the road, parking it at the edge of a bridge.

"If it was Ferguson, I'd forgive him" she unclipped her seatbelt as she spoke in her matter of fact way "Life's too short to stay angry at the people you love." She reached for the handle, but a strange, new urgency within Peter compelled him to speak before she could exit the car and thus conclude this unexpected yet oddly beneficial conversation.

"The worst part is that up until I found out the truth, I just assumed us getting together was an inevitability. I felt this gravitational pull towards her and I was so sure that she had to feel it too… And God, I feel so pathetic right now, because she had me completely fooled."

"You know there's only one person who can tell you how much of it was a lie" Mathis reminded him, "And she's probably sitting by the phone back in Boston, waiting for you to call"

"If I know Olivia, there's no way she's being passive about any of this. She'll be torturing my contacts as we speak, hoping for some sort of lead on where I am." Despite himself, he smiled at the image of Markham fending off a desperate Olivia's questions. He looked towards Mathis once again, and saw the wistful expression on her face, and at once felt ashamed. They'd arrived, now it was time for them to hunt for her guy.

"We're going to find Ferguson" Peter spoke again, in a determined tone, "Then I'm going back to my hotel to sleep for about a week. After that, I'll call her." Mathis said nothing in response, simply nodded as if she'd known that would be his decision all along.

Together, they exited the car and began the hunt for signs of Ferguson.

**A bit boring? Yes. But the idea wouldn't leave me alone til I'd written it. Then I thought I may as well just post it.**

**Let me know if you made it to the end :) **


End file.
